Greensborough Patriot
October 30, 1862
Page 4
From
the Illustrated News
Jackson’s
Foot Cavalry Chronicle
(1.)
Man that is born of woman and enlisted in “Jackson’s
army” is of few days and short rations.
(2.)
He cometh forth at “reveille,” is present also at
“retreat,” and retireth apparently at “taps.”
(3.)
He draweth his rations from the commissary and
devoureth the same; he striketh his teeth against much hard bread, and is satisfied; he filleth his cannon with “aqua
pura,” and clappeth the mouth thereof upon the “bung” of a whiskey barrel and
after a little while goeth away rejoicing at his strategy.
(4.)
Much soldiering hath made him sharp; yea, even the sole
of his shoe is in danger of being cut through.
(5.)
He covenanteth with the credulous farmer for many
chickens and much milk and honey, to be paid for promptly at the end of six
days, when lo! on the 5th day the army moveth to another part.
(6.)
His tent is filled with potatoes, pies, corn and other
morsels for his delicate appetite, which abound not in said commissary
department; and many other borrowed things which will never be returned. Of a truth it must be said of “Jackson’s
foot-cavalry,” “they take not that which they cannot reach.”
(7.)
He fireth his Minie rifle at the dead hour of night and
the camp is aroused and formed in line—when to his mess he cometh bearing a
fine “porker”—which he declareth to resembleth a Yankee that he was compelled
to pull trigger.
(8.)
He giveth the “provost” much trouble; often capturing
his guard and possessing himself of the city.
(9.)
At such times “lager and pretzels” flow like milk and
honey form his generous hand. He giveth
without stint to his own stomach.
(10.) The grunt of a pig and crowing of a cock
awakeneth him from the soundest
sleep, and he sauntereth forth in search
of the quadruped or biped that dareth
to “make night hideous.”
(11.) No sooner hath he passed the sentry’s beat
than he striketh a “bee-line” for
the nearest hen roost, and seizing a
pair of pullets, returneth soliloquizing to
himself, “the noise of a goose saved
Rome, how much more the flesh of the
chicken preserveth the soldier.”
(12.) He playeth “eucre” with the parson whether
there shall be preaching on the
Sabbath, and by dexterously turning jack
from the bottom of the pack,
postponeth the service.
(13.) And many other marvelous things doeth he; and
lo! are they not already
recorded in the morning reports of
“Jackson’s foot-cavalry?”
[Transcribed
by Sharon Strout]
